As I approach fatherhood, I find myself spending more time thinking about and trying to understand my own father so I can better relate to my child. I think this is quite normal. As men, we spend a lifetime trying to understand our fathers. We learn and continually relearn lessons from them throughout our lives. My father passed away recently but I often wonder how I might relate to him now, as an adult with my own family. Over the years, my opinions and views of my father have changed greatly, and the revelations of why my father did certain things are becoming more frequent and clear as I make my way.
I have a good relationship with my father, but it is a little distant. We don't really talk much about each other’s lives that often, and it always seems a little cold. He was always busy make me during my childhood closer to my mom and sibling. Yet, we love him and would never try to exclude him in any way.
Even if he comes home late from work just so he can pay for your education and the bills, his love is always unconditional, even if he may not be there all the time. He cares and wants only the best for his children. In our heart of hearts, he will always be our hero.
My father consistently prioritizes serving our needs before his own. I used to think it was really his job as my father to provide what I want, until I realized he was actually doing that because of love and sacrifice. After understanding, I now truly appreciate everything he has been doing for his family.
Note: Al-Fatihah to my late father (Haji Mohd Affandi Bin Haji Mohd) whom passed away on 26 January 2015. May iAllah place him together with the Solehins