Sunday, 26 May 2013

Just Married

All those details you spent months agonising over miraculously came together: you said your vows, had your party, and somehow, here you are—married!

Cake, flowers and dress are all exciting, but there's more at stake than one day. Your wedding is a day; a marriage is a lifetime. You don't just want to be married, you want to be happily married. Think about the next 50 years. Put at least the same amount of time and effort that you are using to plan your wedding into planning your marriage.

By the time we reach our next wedding anniversary, most of us know how to handle the ups and downs of marriage. Sure, in going through our marriage life may have a few hiccups along the way, but we also will learn to negotiate holidays with the in-laws, wrangle tantrum-throwing kids, and talk each other through blown transmissions and career crossroads.

It looks like we're in for a whole new set of marital challenges. That's because, on the whole, most of us like being married, and so do our spouses. And while there are certain challenges inherent in waking up next to the same person for thousands mornings in a row, many so-called "inevitable" marriage pitfalls. 

Note: To my wife "InsyaAllah, we well go through it together"

Saturday, 25 May 2013

The Vows - Aku Terima Nikahnya

I, Farid Affandi , take you, Nor Azni Binti Abdul Latiff, to be my companion, forever.
With you by my side I will never be alone. Though the world sees a strong and independent woman, I've never known someone with such gentle grace and more pure heart. 
You're a gift I never dreamed I could want or need and everyday I will show you that you're a gift that I deserve. You make me the best person I could ever hope to be and I want to spend and learn and love the rest of my life with you.
When I've been lost you've always been there to bring me back, so on this day, at this moment, I pledge the rest of my life to you. You've always believed in me, and I believe in you. When you believe in someone it's not for a minute, or just for now, it's forever.

Saturday, 18 May 2013

License to Wed

I have always considered marriage as the most interesting event of one's life, the foundation of happiness or misery. And the best part is, both the unmarried and the married are unhappy, though for radically opposite reasons, one for not being married, and the other for being married.

I couldn't help thinking of the quite serious question about why we do it. Do we really have no idea of what we're getting ourselves into? A long time ago, I realized that oddly enough, there are many things we do in life where there are no prerequisites. Before society allows me to drive a car, I must pass a test. Before I'm allowed to work as accountant, I have to obtain a degree and carry out an internship. But marriage? Becoming a parent? Our society, we collectively, require absolutely no proof of competency. There are no tests to pass, certificate to obtain, or internship to go through.

It’s important that younger people realize how difficult a marriage will be, at times. It strongly suggest that couples need more than just the desire to be married to make their marriage work but that they also need to understand the complexity of this intimate union. In our marriage life, we shall encounter issues of communication, finances, fair fighting, stress, making promises, and parenthood.

We all have the "right" to get married or become parents and we all would be indignant if anybody suggested we would need to prove beforehand that we have the requisite skills and financial means to be doing any of these activities. Every relationship has its flaws, but these flaws add to the charm of the marriage.

Saturday, 11 May 2013

Men From Mars & Women From Venus

I always say to my friends, “I don’t understand women but I love them”, I must confess that no matter how I try, I still do not understand women. Perhaps women are created but are not meant to be understood.
Lets be totally honest here, if I knew the secret formula that made men understand the goings on in a woman's head I would gain overnight fame and fortune, my name would live on as one of the greatest men in history, I would probably even win an award or two including the Nobel Prize for science and the Nobel Peace prize.I would be a legend in my own lifetime, revered by men everywhere I went. 
There's no denying it; men and women are simple two completely different creatures. We just think and process things differently. We move and react differently. We’re just, well, different. What's important to one half of the species is completely irrelevant to the other.

Perhaps, I should be telling to my friends, don’t even try to understand women, just love them……and probably women are created to be loved. There's a saying that goes like this:

"When a man is respected, he feels cherished. When a woman is cherished, she feels respected."

As men, respect is the thing we want most from others. Women want to be cherished and treated as special and unique (and yes, as desirable sexual creatures you'd like nothing more than to ravage... but only because they're so special and unique). That's what you need to know to understand women.

Monday, 6 May 2013

Before we are Barisan or Pakatan, We are Malaysian


Let us also demand Freedom from the Forgetful Politician, that is, those who forgot who voted them in. First off are those who insist that we should be grateful that they are there to lead us.

As shrill and discordant as our politics can be at times, it was a moment that reminded us of who we really are – and how much we depend on one another.

After all, this is still a time of great challenges for us to solve. We’ve got to grow jobs faster, and forge a stronger, more competitive economy. We’ve got to shore up our budget, and bring down our deficits. We’ve got to keep our people safe, and see to it that the Vision 2020 remains vibrant and alive for our children.

So as business resumes, We as people look forward to working together in that same spirit of common cause  – because before we are Barisan or Pakatan, we are Malaysian.

And as we perform the work of this nation, we prayer is that we stay true to our words, and turn to those examples of courage, and perseverance, to bring out the better in all of us.

Here and now, what we need is not just one country, but to share one love, one blood and one life. What we need is faith and courage to leave this dream world where there is no spoon, and reach a place high in the desert plain where the streets have no name.

Sunday, 5 May 2013

The candidate

As today is an Election Day, There may be many who made up their minds a long time ago but for some of us, it ain’t much of a choice.

We are falling into the illusion of choice, into a two-party paradigm, not only attempts to narrow the various views, ideologies, and experiences of millions of Malaysian into two possible doors, but is also a disservice to ourselves. Both sides seem to campaign on the premise that voting for the other side means a dubious future.

Our responsibility as citizens, is to expect and support individuals who best represent us, our values, our futures, our aspiration. There are few things I consider before tick against any box in the voting ballot :-
  • I am looking for a leader, who is ready to make a stand about what’s right and what’s wrong. I’d like someone who knows how to draw the line between good behaviour and bad, and doesn’t throw up his or her hands to disclaim responsibility when other parties behave badly, obviously on his or her behalf.
  • I am looking for bridge-builders and peacemakers, the sort of people who know how to turn down the temperature, not raise it up for political expediency. I’d like to see someone who reaches out and builds bridges with sincerity, and doesn’t feel the need to bring along lots of media when he or she does it.
  • When they say about progression. Not just in terms of technology and infrastructure but also in attitudes towards human development such as in education and spiritual growth
  • I’d like “moderate” to mean in terms of spending, in terms of politicking, in terms of word and deed. And that moderation is not just for foreign consumption but also for us at home. 
I would like to vote for a candidate that would bring us all together because we have no time to be disunited. We the people should just name whom we want and vote them in, regardless of affiliation.

Note:- I wish I can vote in Putrajaya and Salor at the same time.

Saturday, 4 May 2013

Lesser of two evils

A recent survey by a public relations company found that most people have very little trust in their politicians, corporations and media.Yet we are still stuck in a system where the running of our country is still entrusted to the very people we mistrust. 

What is beginning to be obvious to me is that if we vote for either side, we’ll wind up miserable. That’s hardly what I would call a choice.The default setting for all our politicians, regardless of who they are, seems to be to automatically disagree with whatever the other side does. 
The essence of the system is not democracy but representative democracy and a system of checks and balances on those exercising power. "Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely." The incidence of the abuse of power cannot be eliminated but an attempt is made through the representative democratic system and its institutions to reduce the extent of the abuse of power.

I keep having people tell me that in this election, the only choice we have is to vote for the lesser of two evils.

There will never come a day when any one politician or political party will embrace Integrity values perfectly. It's not possible because all men everywhere are totally corrupted by sin. Some are more worthy of trust than others – some are more advantageous to partner with or be around than others – yet because all are inherently broken, none can ever be fully trusted.

If we must vote, then don’t vote for the evil that you think is better. Vote for that which you believe is good, for that which you believe is best of all. It’s a once-in-five-years’ decision that can have a tremendous impact on the life of our nation, and I strongly believe that every vote counts. 

Note: Happy Voting for all Malaysian. Think of Malaysia when you vote not the party