Some of you may have noticed that I’ve never written about my parents or my relationship with them. It’s not by intention; just that there’s never been a reason to write about it. That is, until recently, as I start gaining resolution in new areas of my life.
Until a few years ago I was only able to really understand half of the father & son relationship. As I’m getting older, I find myself spending more time thinking about and trying to understand my own father. I think this is quite normal. As men, we spend a lifetime trying to understand our fathers. We learn and continually relearn lessons from them throughout our lives. Over the years, my opinions and views of my father have changed greatly, and the revelations of why my father did certain things are becoming more frequent and clear as I make my way.
I have a good relationship with my father, but it is a little distant. We don't really talk much about each other’s lives that often, and it always seems a little cold. He was always busy make me during my childhood closer to my mom and sibling. Yet, we love him and would never try to exclude him in any way.
There is no simple way to relate to our father as an adult. The make-up of any individual is multi-faceted, and recognising that our fathers are much more than the unilateral role we have known them in is a great way to start to relate. As adults, we gain a greater insight and understanding into our fathers, not just as fathers but as individuals. This understanding of how our father became who he is can yield clarity, perspective and respect, so take time to get to know our father -- to really know him.
Even if he comes home late from work just so he can pay for your education and the bills, his love is always unconditional, even if he may not be there all the time. He cares and wants only the best for his children. In our heart of hearts, he will always be our hero.
My father consistently prioritizes serving our needs before his own. I used to think it was really his job as my father to provide what I want, until I realized he was actually doing that because of love and sacrifice. After understanding, I now truly appreciate everything he has been doing for his family.
Thank you for your guidance and for being such a great influence throughout my life. I am very lucky to have you as my father. I wish you a happy 57th birthday.