Sunday, 22 April 2012

Parent Traps

"You’re going to find naysayers in every turn that you make. Don’t listen. Just visualize your goal, know exactly where you want to go. Trust yourself. Get out there and work like hell. Break some of the rules and never ever be afraid of failure.” – Arnold Schwarzenegger

From the day we are born, we are inducted into, influenced by, awed by the world of our parents. They tell us what is right or wrong, good or bad. This interaction defines our personality and therefore our future like none other. Parents are our first role model.

It is very natural for parents to have aspirations for their children, for as parents they mistakenly think that children are just extensions of themselves. It is important to remember that children harbor their own dreams and aspirations that may not be in tandem with what parents have in mind. 

I would like to bring Paulo Coelho, One of the most successful authors alive today; he’s sold several billion books worldwide. His bestselling include The Alchemist, The Pilgrimage and many more.

But flash back to when Paulo was a teenager, and his parents had him committed to a mental institution. On three separate occasions.


Because he wanted to be a writer.

Mr and Mrs. Coelho didn’t think being a writer was a practical career choice. They were full sure that their son would end up starving in a slum somewhere if he pursued his passion, and so they tried to talk him out of it. When he wouldn’t listen, a trip to the local nuthouse for a little electro-shock therapy seemed in order.

Thankfully, Paulo resisted his parent’s resistance and managed to become his best self anyways.

But here’s what I love most about Coelho’s story. When asked if he’d forgiven his parents for how they treated them, he responded he did not need to forgive them, because he never blamed them for what happened. From their own point-of-view, they were trying to help him to get the discipline necessary to accomplish his deeds as an adult, and to forget the “dreams of a teenager.”

Any assessment of our own abilities is necessarily polluted by our optimism, pessimism, passion, and our everyday delusions. On top of that, we are influenced by other people's opinions of our abilities, and other people are just as clueless as us.

There is a secret ambition in all of us, which is either repressed as we grow older or it comes out at the strangest of moments in our lives. The desire to fulfill the heart's needs is what we all pine for, yet social expectations and norms inhibit us from pursuing what is a passion, in favor of what our "prescribed roles" dictate. At the end of the day we all strive to do the thing which makes us happy, like doing the work we love doing, for then it ceases to become work. 

Kahlil Gibran onces said "Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's  longing for itself" 

Note:- I was born with calculator with my hand according to my parent 

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